Moments Passed
by jordanfan360
Summary: He left her three and a half years ago to make his own path in life. Now that he's back, Bella has some decisions to make...is she going to live in misery her whole life or put on her big girl panties and start to live again. HEA...of course.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome! take a look around :)**

**Small chapters will gradually get a tiny bit longer.**

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

"What are you gonna tell him?" Alice breaks the silence between us.

I focus on the cool California breeze against my face.

I actually don't know what I will say to him.

"I…I don't know. What is there to say?" I tell her.

I want to feel nothing.

It's been three and a half years. I want to keep it that way.

I want to stay strong.

"He's gonna ask questions." She looks back into the house.

I sigh. "I don't owe him anything, Alice." I'm getting annoyed. I don't want to talk about him.

I finish my glass of wine and refill it again. I'm on my third…or fourth. I've been at it since I got home from work.

Esme called me with the…news that her son is coming back into town.

How fucking convenient.

He was so damn determined to leave with no way to contact him…he should just stay gone.

He's done enough damage.

We've all moved on…I've moved on.

I don't need him to come back and turn everything upside down.

I just know he's going to fuck shit up.

_Fuck_.


	2. Chapter 2

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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"Sophia, let's go mamas. We don't want to be late. Give Bella hugs goodbye." Alice runs around the kitchen gathering their things.

Alice has done so much for me. I owe her my fucking life.

Sophie runs to me with her little milk mustache.

"Bye Bella-s," She says softly.

"Bye-bye Sophie," I whisper. I clean her upper lip and kiss her forehead.

I rub the burning in my chest when they leave. The pain suffocates me on the daily. The guilt torments me mercilessly. I don't know how to fix it without hurting more.

Esme calls me at work again.

"He'll be here by the end of the week Bella. I just spoke to him." She's nervous.

"I'm sorry that I put you and Carlisle in the middle of all this," I say sincerely. I feel really fucking shitty for what they've done for me.

"Bella, you know that my son cut us all off when he left and when he finally did call us, he didn't want to know anything about anyone." It still hurts to hear that.

"I'm still sorry."

The burning in my chest continues throughout the day.

As much as I don't want to think about him, I do. It's _all_ I think about.

Three and a half years…I always think about him. Of course I do.

But I'm not that stupid anymore—I protect my heart now.

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**A/N More coming up :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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We're having dinner at home—just the three of us. Alice keeps looking at me. I wish she would just spit it out.

"You have to eat all your broccolis before you can have ice cream. Okay?" She says to Sophie.

"But I don't want no more," Sophie whines softly and then turns to look at me for help.

Her eyes…they make the burning in my chest intensify.

Alice sighs loudly. She knows I'm about to give in to Sophie.

"Alice is right Sophie, you have to eat your broccoli or we _all _can't have ice cream." She pouts but continues to eat her food.

When Sophie is finally asleep, Alice decides to talk. I don't know if I'm relieved.

"How are you doing?" she asks.

"Fine."

"You've been way too quiet. More than usual." I have. "Sophia wanted to know if you were angry at her." My eyes burn. Fuck.

"He arrives tomorrow." I mumble. Just saying it makes my heart drop.

He's opening up wounds that I buried a long time ago and he's not even here yet. Everything that I locked away is now resurfacing with a vengeance.

I know Alice has noticed the puffy eyes in the morning and the dark circles. I've hardly slept these past three nights and when I did, I had nightmares. Only these nightmares are actually real. He leaves in every single one.

I relive the day he left…and I relive the moments he's missed.

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**:'(**


	4. Chapter 4

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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Edward's been back for a week now. I've survived one week of avoiding him like the plague; it feels like an eternity.

He won't just show up at my house…at least I hope he doesn't. I want to delay seeing him for as long as possible.

That may be hard to do, though since his best friend happens to be Alice's boyfriend. She's already seen him but I forbid her from telling me anything about him. I don't want to know if he asked or didn't ask about me. I don't know which would hurt more.

"Um…Jaz is having a barbeque today." Alice says hesitantly. "You wanna come?" She juts out her bottom lip like Sophie does. They're so much alike.

"Is he gonna be there?" I know it's a stupid question.

"Well…yeah. It's kinda for him."

"Hmm." I look down at my coffee and stir it. "I'm still avoiding him so that would be a no." I tell her without looking up.

My stomach is in knots again.

"You have to face him sometime. We have the same friends, Bella, you can't avoid him forever. And maybe it's better if you saw each other in a group setting…to make it easier."

If I see him, I might throw up. If it happened to be all over his shoes, I wouldn't feel too bad.

Blah, thinking of vomiting brings back memories of…well, vomiting.


	5. Chapter 5

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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I really am gonna be sick.

I don't know how or why I let Alice guilt me into going. _Fuck!_

"I don't wanna go." I whine as I sit on the sofa next to Sophie who's getting her hair did by Alice.

"But I'm getting pretty hairs Bella-s. We hafta go. Okay?" Sophie says like I'm the two-year old. She's fucking adorable. And demanding.

I should be used to the ache in my chest. I'm not. I rub it.

"All done, Sophia!" Alice cheers. She loves dressing her up and doing her hair. She lives for that shit.

The weather is amazing, I have to say. I opted for a sundress and sandals.

Sophie pulls on my dress. "Bella-s are we gonna get our toe-sies done?" She points to our toes. I look down at her tiny little toes. We both have French tips.

"Can we Bella-s?" she asks again when I don't answer right away.

"Yes, we are mamas." Alice chimes in. "Go grab your purse."

"Come on, Bella." Alice nudges me. "You look like you're gonna be sick. I have everything under control. It's gonna be fine."

_It's gonna be fine, it's just Edward. _I tell myself.

We file into Alice's car and I turn on the radio.

Lord help me, Alice has a Miley CD.

Sophie starts to sing at the top of her lungs to the chorus of Party in the USA. I turn around to look at her; she's trying to shake what her mamma gave her. Nodding her head like yeah?

_Oh God. _Poor child.

"What the fuck have you been teaching her, Alice?" I whisper yell. She rolls her eyes.

"Shut up and sing with us party pooper!" Alice starts moving her hips to the music and singing, "_So I put my hands up they're playing my song…"_

Shoot me.

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**A/N Come on...Party in the USA is catchy. I may or may not blast it in my car with the windows _up. _LOL**


	6. Chapter 6

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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I down two beers the minute we get to Jasper's house.

"Hey, slow it down, Bells; it's still a little too early to get shitfaced." Rose calls from across the yard. I give her the finger and she laughs.

We've all been friends since high school—Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Angela, Ben, Mike and…Edward. They all know what went down with me and Edward, but I would never make them choose sides. It's not their problem to get in the middle of.

And speaking of which, I'm getting pretty nervous. He's not here yet, but he will be. Everyone is waiting for him, even though they've already reunited.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Jasper calls. I tense.

He's here. He's really fucking here.

"Get over here you sexy bitch." Emmett yells and I hear Edward laugh.

It's been such a long time since I've heard that laugh.

My heart is pounding furiously in my chest. I can't figure out if it wants to jump out and hug Edward or punch him in the balls. I'm rooting for the latter.

I take a deep breath and turn around to look at him. He's beautiful and he's gotten some muscle on his chest and arms.

My heart stops when his eyes meet mine.

_It hurts everywhere._


	7. Chapter 7

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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He excuses himself from the guys and slowly walks over toward me.

No one pays any attention to us. Well, maybe Alice but I don't see her anywhere. She's probably inside with Sophie.

I feel dizzy as my heart keeps racing the fucking marathon of the year.

"Hi," he says, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Hi." I look down and bite my lip. I'm trying to find some courage within me. I don't think any exists at the moment.

Is that all we really have to say to each other?

"How are you?" he asks quietly, running one hand through his hair.

It's funny how I never thought I'd ever see that gesture again.

"I…I'm good." I stutter.

I'm a nervous wreck and I hope to god that he can't see it.

I feel like a teenager looking at her high school crush—which he actually was…or is?

_What happened to the anger and pain I've been feeling? Was it only due to the fact that he was gone?_

Was that the "cure"…for him to just come back?

"That's good, I'm gla—"

"Bella-s…Bellaaa-s!" Sophie comes crying, hiccupping. "Alice don't let me play in the swimmy pool." She sniffles.

I look back up at Edward and he's looking at us curiously.

Back with full force is the ache in my heart. I quickly realize that the heart never forgets. It was just waiting for Sophia to come out and knock some fucking sense into me.

_He wasn't there!_ My heart screams at me.

I pick up _my daughter_ and take her into the house, leaving Edward out there fucking clueless—like three and a half years ago.

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**A/N**

**This might be the last one for today.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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A sob rips through my chest and I hold Sophie close to me while I walk through the house.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." _So fucking sorry for not being the mother I should have been._

I didn't even realize that Alice followed me into the guest bedroom.

"Let me take her, Bella." Sophie immediately lets go of me and goes into Alice's arms. That hurts deep down into my soul.

My daughter is used to Alice because I was too depressed to care for her when she was born. She was a constant reminder of him and I just…couldn't deal with that much pain—of him not being there to see the perfectness that we created.

To this day I hate myself for rejecting her that way, and I try to make up for it ever day. It's still hard.

"Are you okay Bella?" Alice asks me softly.

"Y-yeah." I let out a shaky breath. "It got to be too much with him standing there in front of us." I wipe away the tears—I'm feeling better. Sophie doesn't look like I scarred her for life or anything…she is still upset that she can't get in the "swimmy pool."

"We can leave if you want…" she offers. I shake my head.

"No, we should stay. I'll take her to the pool." I rub Sophie's back; she looks up at me and smiles.

"Are you sure? I can take her for you."

"I'll do it, Alice. We'll be fine." I don't blame Alice for being so protective of my daughter. She's had to pick up so much slack from me; it's close to being borderline disgusting. But I _can _take care of my own daughter.

If it takes all my life to prove that I am a good mother, then I will do it—I'll pass that test with flying fucking colors. I promised Sophie that a long time ago.

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**Catch me on Twitter EdwardsSexyMrs**


	9. Chapter 9

**Back from my nap ;)**

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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"Bella-s look at my sparkly swimmy suit!" Sophie twirls around in front of me showing me her bathing suit. It has a fluffy tutu around it, she looks adorable.

"So pretty, Sophie."

"And my sparkly toes, Bella-s." She wiggles them in her little flip flops.

I want to eat her.

When I look decent enough, like I wasn't crying my eyes out, we go outside to the pool area. Some people are already in it or lounging about.

Sophie vibrates with excitement. "Let's get in Bella-s."

I put on her little floaties and walk her over to the shallow part of the pool. Rose and Alice are already in so they quickly get a hold of her squealing form. I walk back to the lounge chairs and get rid of the towel that I tied around myself.

"I hope you don't mind me saying." A smooth voice rings next to me. "You look really good, Bella." I turn around quickly at Edward. He's wearing board shorts…no shirt. I'm speechless. He's looking me over appreciatively, but not in a creepy way. His words are honest.

I also remind myself to thank Alice for loaning me her two piece bathing suit today.

"Thank you." I blush.

"Hey, I didn't know Alice had a daughter." He points over at the far end of the pool where everyone is entertaining my daughter.


	10. Chapter 10

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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"_Hey, I didn't know Alice had a daughter." He points over at the far end of the pool where everyone is entertaining my daughter._

"I…um—"

"Hey, Cullen are you gonna get in or what?" Mike shouts.

Fuck.

Now is not the time anyway. I want us to be alone when I finally tell him.

"After you." Edward holds his hand out for me to enter the pool first.

The butterflies in my stomach make the ache go away for a little while.

Later in the afternoon, Sophie is asleep in my arms and we're all gathered around the table inside the house. It got cold pretty fast and we moved the gathering indoors.

"So what the fuck have you been up to, Cullen?" Emmett asks.

I try not to look too eager for his answer. When he left…he said he wanted to get away from everything. From everyone—from me.

"Nah man, just working my ass off."

"Yeah we could tell." Ben chimes in. "You've got that sweet ride."

Edward laughs. "That's my baby. It took me two years to fix her up." He looks so happy and carefree talking about his car.

I suddenly feel like I got the bad end of the deal. Or at least I've made it that way. I've wasted too much time being angry and hurt because of him. I didn't even give myself a chance to really be happy.

"So you're gonna be working out here now?" Alice asks him.

"Um yeah." He looks over at me and gives me a small smile. He doesn't take his eyes off me when he says, "The body shop I work for opened up a place out here and I asked to get transferred. I missed home." His eyes burn into mine.

I feel my whole body ignite with that look. I'm thankful that I can mostly hide behind the little girl in my arms.


	11. Chapter 11

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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I'm the first to get up to leave. I have to get Sophie to bed and Alice told me that she was spending the night with Jasper.

"You're leaving already?" Edward walks up behind me while I'm trying to gather my things.

"Yeah, I have to get this one." I look down at Sophie. "To bed."

"Ah you're stuck babysitting." He says grinning. "Those two can't keep their hands off each other." He jerks his chin toward Alice and Jasper who are…attacking each other on the couch. _Eww get a room!_

We look at each other again and start laughing.

The giant butterflies in my stomach sober me up. I clear my throat.

"I gotta go." I murmur and walk around him.

"Hey, Bella." Edward stops me. He runs his hand through his hair and tugs on it at the end. _What is he so nervous about?_ "Do you think we can get together sometime…you know, to talk?" He buries his hands in his pocket.

It doesn't matter if I'm ready; I have to talk to him. There are things…he needs to know.

I ignore the pain in my chest like I have done for so long.

_What the fuck happened to my plan of avoiding him and telling him nothing?_

I was afraid that seeing him would change everything I've felt for him—all the anger mostly. Now I just want to tell him _everything, _even though he was such an asshole to me when he left and shattered my heart.

He didn't know about _her_.

None of us did for a while.

"Okay."

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**EdwardsSexyMrs on twitter ;)**

**Is anyone reading any fics on AO3?**


	12. Chapter 12

__**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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_~Three and a half years ago~_

Edward's been so moody lately.

Skipping most of his classes…doing god knows what. If he keeps that shit up, he's never gonna get into that graduate program that his dad has lined up for him.

I've been busting my ass off to finally get my shit done. I got my BA last semester and now I'm just finishing up my credentials.

Yep. I'm gonna be a teacher. Fuck yes. I got a job lined up and everything.

I'm going places and teaching young minds.

I'm happy.

When I walk into our apartment my very happy mood drops drastically.

"What is this?"

Suitcases in my living room.

"What the fuck is this?" I ask again.

He's smoking a cigarette and stuffing his backpack with crap.

"I thought you had class right now." He says, avoiding my eyes.

I'm dumbfounded. I don't answer him, I just stare at him.

_What is going on?_

He stops what he's doing and looks up at me finally. The look in his eyes tells me what I don't want him to say.

He sighs. "I'm leaving, Bella."

Pain in my chest.

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**EdwardsSexyMrs on twitter ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Let me clear some things up:**

** Alice, Bella, and Sophie live together.**

**Sophie will be three in a few months. Her speech is awesome from personal experience with my 2yo. There's nothing he can't really pronounce. But he does say Bella with an "s" and i think it's adorable.**

**I think that's it for now. Leave me your questions!**

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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_~Three and a half years ago~ _

"Where are you going?" I ask softly.

He groans. "Away, Bella. I have to get out of here." He pulls at his hair. "This just isn't for me."

Punch in the gut—that's what it feels like.

"Did I do something?"

He looks up at me sharply. "Not everything is about you, Bella. You have your life all set up. You know what you're doing. " He shakes his head and laughs humorlessly. "I want to make my own decisions…figure out what I really want to do with my life." He says softly.

"You can always change majors." I tell him. He has to know that he has options. I know he hates school right now. It's pretty obvious.

"It's not that easy. I'm expected to be the next great surgeon. I fucking hate medicine, Bella. I already let my family down. I want out of here." He clenches his fists at his sides.

"Wha—what about me?"

There is sadness in his eyes, and an emptiness grows in my heart.

"I can't think about you right now. I need to do this for me. I'm sorry."

"What do you mean you can't think about me?" I ask incredulously.

"I MEAN I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING BE WITH YOU, BELLA!" He yells and I jump back, muffling my sobs with both hands.

He huffs and slams things around. "Why are you making this shit difficult for me?" he growls. "I already paid the lease for the year; you don't have to move out."

_He thinks I give a fuck about this apartment?_

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**I don't excuse him, i think he's going about it all wrong.**


	14. Chapter 14

__**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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_~Three years ago~ _

He's been gone two months.

I find myself in the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test. I'm a sobbing mess.

_This can't be fucking happening!_

My whole world is crashing all around me. I ignored the signs because I thought it was the stress of him…leaving and school. But it's here now.

I'm pregnant.

"You have to tell him, Bella."

I look at my friend like she's stupid.

"Alice, how the fuck am I gonna get in contact with him? His parents don't even know where he went." I hiss.

A wave of nausea washes over me. It's not the only one for a long time.

_Fuck._

.

.

A month later I walk into the Cullen's home bearing gifts in the form of a black and white photo.

Carlisle is beyond pissed, I fear for Edward's life. He congratulates me…but still curses Edward for his fuck up.

The words sting. I want to protect the baby in my belly from words like that.

Esme and I cry together and she promises to be there for me when her asshole son can't. Her words.

I leave the framed picture of my daughter on their coffee table. It says _Hi Grandma and Grandpa!_

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**oh no...**


	15. Chapter 15

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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~Present time~

We meet at a café two weeks later.

"I'm glad we could finally get together." His smile is warm and comforting.

It doesn't even feel like he left me the way he did. He looks different. Maybe he is.

"Yeah…um I'm sorry I was so busy. My classes are doing state testing, so I've been preparing them."

"I completely understand. I've been busy too at work."

"So you restore old cars?" I ask. His eyes light up.

"Yeah I do. My body shop does custom framework and all that."

"It's not that "pimp my ride" stuff is it?" He barks out a laugh and I giggle.

"No way. We stay true to the original car."

I love seeing him like this. I've missed this so much.

There is an uncomfortable silence for a bit but then he looks up at me.

"Listen, Bella, I know it's been a long time and…I don't know…but I want you to know that I'm really sorry for the way I left things. For…for the way I left you."

"You don't have—"

"No. No, please let me get this out." He takes a long sip of his drink before he speaks again. "I was in a really fucked up place…and I don't expect you to forgive me very easily, but just know that I've carried that with me all this time. You didn't deserve that. Hell I wish you would just punch me in the face." He says seriously.

"Don't tempt me. I will do it." I shake my fist at him.

"Have at it, baby." He shows me his cheek.

I freeze at the word _baby_.

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**Don't hate me or Bella for meeting him at the cafe. We want to make this right...and we're hopelessly in love with that asshole! **


	16. Chapter 16

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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"_Have at it, baby." He shows me his cheek. _

_I freeze at the word baby. _

"I—I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"It's okay." I stare down at my coffee. It's getting cold.

The playful mood is gone.

"You were really fucked up to me." I break the silence.

He hangs his head. "I know, I'm so sorry, Bella." His face looks anguished.

So am I.

My belly aches from the butterflies and the hurt that I've carried, but I have to tell him.

"What is it? Just tell me."

Fuck, he knows me so well. And it aches more now that I know that.

I sigh. "You didn't give anyone any information on where you were going." I accuse him.

"I know." He says quietly.

"That was really fucking stupid because…" God! The words just keep getting stuck in my throat. "Because I had something important to tell you and as time went on and it happened and I came to terms with it…I just decided that you didn't need to know since you weren't here. But you could never be gone, you're always with me whether I like it or not…" I chew on my lip, trying to decide what else to tell him.

"I don't understand…what did you need to tell me? What are you talking about?"

I picture my daughter and gain strength from it.

"I was pregnant when you left." I look him in the eyes. Sad and angry tears pool in my eyes.

Courage gets me through that statement.

And maybe, just maybe I _love_ that he's here talking to me.

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**You know when there's that _one_ person that you will always love...and even forgive him anything? yeah. this.**


	17. Chapter 17

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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~October 9th 2009~

She comes out screaming bloody murder.

It's music to my ears. I know she's healthy and here all in one piece.

_Talk about putting in hard fucking work._

It's a fleeting thought, but I wonder what he's doing this exact moment—when his daughter entered the world.

My Mom, Esme and Alice all fuss over her. She's so fucking tiny.

And she looks just like me.

My mom said so.

I sit back and watch them. My mind is my worst enemy. It wants to know why he's not here.

_Because he doesn't fucking want us, that's why._

I feel the depression consume me. It's a force that I can't fight against.

I don't hold her after we bring her home from the hospital. She's just a tiny thing, but she brings so much pain. I don't know how to disassociate that from her.

I try to remind myself that it's not her fault.

Alice is my saving grace. She's there for her. For us.

I wish I could give my baby more. All this fucked-up-ness in my head won't let me!

I know I love her. I do. I just can't hold her.

.

.

It takes a few months for me to get the courage to take care of Sophie on my own.

It's a scary fucking thing, but I love it.

I love her personality. She giggles incessantly with me and she's everything I wanted her to be.

She's crazy chubby now and I spend most of my time nibbling on her little rolls—her arms and legs. _Fucking adorable._

I'm learning to be happy in my everyday life.

But with Sophie I don't even have to try. I just am.

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**Awww Sophie and Bella...my heart just swells. 3 and who doesn't love chubby babies!**

****Any kind of depression is serious. Postpartum being one of them. Ask for help, there is no shame in that.**

**ILY all and your reviews :-)**


	18. Chapter 18

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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I'm surprised that I didn't completely break down the minute those words left my mouth. In fact, I feel a whole lot lighter. I really needed to get it out. Carrying this with me all this time has affected me so much emotionally. I take a deep breath and it's, minimal, but I can breathe.

He's shocked—completely speechless. I see his mind trying to work this out a million miles a minute.

I help him out.

"Sophia is my daughter…not Alice's." I wring my hands together and wait for him to say something.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." He runs his hands through his hair furiously, groaning almost in agony. "You've gotta be kidding me Bella." He pleads.

I sniffle. "I wish I was." I laugh through my tears. "I never expected to be a single mom, but here I am." My voice breaks at the end. I look down, wiping away the tears that came down.

"Christ, Bella." He gets up from his seat and walks over to my side quickly. He kneels next to me and takes my hands.

"I'm so fucking sorry. You have to know that!" he says forcefully.

He doesn't care that we're getting looks from other customers. Maybe this wasn't the best place…but it's done. I don't think I would have had the courage any other day.

I brought my big girl panties today…and I'm really trying to work them.

I cover my face and I nod at him.

His eyes are pained; I know he's sorry.

"For everything, Bella. You were the only thing in my life that was right. And I regret letting you go. Fuck, you have to believe me!" he pleads.

My heart is in my throat.


	19. Chapter 19

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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We leave the coffee shop before we make a bigger spectacle of ourselves.

"We can continue this at my place if you want." Edward suggests. "I just moved in so it's pretty empty, but I've got a couch or the dining table…"

I'm conflicted. I want to and I don't. I never want to leave his side again, but then I'm also afraid of what he might want from me. I don't think I can give him much now.

"I would like to, but I have to get back to Sophie. I told Alice I'd only be a couple of hours."

At the mention of her, he starts to fidget uncomfortably.

"I would love to meet her, Bella. Officially. I want my daughter to know who I am. Do…do you think we could do that?"

To think, just a few weeks ago, I was determined to keep him away from her. That I would not answer any of his questions or divulge any information to this man…

Today, I want nothing more that to reunite the two most important people in my life.

My mind keeps telling me_, I knew he would come and stir shit up. _But this is good.

I feel okay with it. New beginnings.

"We can definitely do that." I smile at him.

His returning smile makes my heart almost burst at the seams.

I know I can trust him with Sophia, but I'm not sure if I can trust him with my heart yet.


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry for the delay.**

**Again, this is not beta'd or pre-read. If you're still confused let me know. Some things will be answered later, though.**

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

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It takes a few days, but Alice and I sit down with Sophia and we tell her about her Edward.

It's the most terrifying and shortest conversation of my life.

She doesn't really understand yet. She does know that her Daddy was always away and couldn't come see her.

Now she knows that he's gonna be here soon.

"Is he a nice Daddy or a meanie?" she whispers in my ear. When she's nervous, she speaks softly and I just want to protect her from the world.

"Oh, he's definitely one of the nice Daddys. I promise."

I'm amazed that I'm not nervous. I'm proud actually—she's my greatest accomplishment.

When Edward arrives at our house, I show him in and we go straight to Sophia's room. He looks nervous so I reach down to squeeze his hand and tell him that everything's cool.

I ignore the familiar jolt of electricity that passes between us. It doesn't surprise me. It will always be there.

I tell my heart to slow its roll, Edward's not off the hook yet. He better be ready to do more explaining.

Sophie looks up when we come in and she goes straight to Edward. Her little arms wrap around his legs and she says very softly, "Hi Daddy."

_Oh fuck me; I said I wasn't going to cry!_

Edward kneels down to her level and caresses her cheek. "Hi Sophia." He whispers.


	21. Chapter 21

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

The initial visit goes well. It takes Sophie a little while to get comfortable with Edward. When she finally does, she has him all over her room; showing him her toys and her books.

He listens to her and I can see he is amazed by her. He studies her face when she talks and rambles about things extremely important to her, like how she has to feed her baby or it'll keep _cryings._

"So why does she call you _Bellas_?" Edward asks me later that evening. We're in my kitchen sharing a bottle of wine after Sophie has gone to bed…finally.

She was so excited to have Edward here. The whole day consisted of, "Daddy look at this; Daddy come play with me; Daddy lets watch cartoonies!"

"Well, she called me _Bellas_ one day…and I...I just didn't correct her."

Truth is, the day she called me Bellas, I really just thought that's what I deserve to be called.

Sophia didn't call me Bella to take away my title as her _Mom,_ but I saw it that way and I punished myself with it. I felt like I deserved it for treating her the way I did—for not accepting my responsibility as her mother and taking care of her.

"You should correct her, Bella. It's not right that she calls you by your name." Anger flares inside me.

"Don't go there." I shake my head calmly, trying to keep myself from lashing out at him. "Don't tell me how to raise my daughter."

"She's my daughter too, Bella. I think I can have some say in this."

Is he fucking serious?

* * *

**Bella, cut yourself some slack!**

**Edward, shut up.**


	22. Chapter 22

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"No, you're wrong. You were too busy following your dream of fixing cars or whatever bullshit to be here for Sophie as her Dad. She calls you that now, but you haven't earned it."

"And what? You haven't earned your title so you let her call you Bella? Is that it? Does my daughter not have a mom?" He taunts me.

_How fucking dare he?_

I reach across the table so fast, he doesn't see it coming. My palm connects with the left side of his face with a loud whack.

It feels good. I've wanted to do that since I first saw his beautiful face almost a month ago.

He looks down and holds his cheek, shaking his head. "I deserved that," he says when he finally looks up at me.

"Yeah you did. Come talk to me when you're not gonna be an asshole." I stand up and motion for him to get up and leave.

"Come on, Bella. I'm sorry." He throws his arms up in the air, frustrated.

"You're sorry an awful lot." I spit back.

"I don't know how to do this!" he says frustrated. "Last week, I didn't have a kid…now I do. I thought I was saying the right thing about the whole _Bellas_ situation and then you tell me I have no say? You just pissed me off!" He says, his eyes widening. "If I have a daughter." He points at his chest. "I wanna have a say. She wants to call you Bella…fine. So be it. I'm here now trying to take responsibility."

"Good." I say petulantly.

I cut him some slack 'cause he looks like he's gonna have a breakdown…and he also has a really nice print of my hand on his cheek.

* * *

**It really felt good to slap him. She should have thrown in a fist, though. Dammit!**


	23. Chapter 23

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

My sleep is restless.

After I slapped the shit out of Edward and had a mini face off with him, I still made him leave. He made me so angry and I really didn't want to continue to have a heated discussion with him while Sophia was in the house.

He was afraid that I would keep him away from Sophie, but I assured him that I wouldn't do that to _her_.

I toss and turn again. The sheets are all tangled and my pajama pants keep rolling up my legs—it's so annoying. I huff and kick the sheets down. I lay still, staring at the ceiling.

I fight against it as much as I can, but I fail, my mind goes to Edward. My heart wants him to come back, but my mind tells me not to be an idiot.

I don't know anything about him now. And I don't know about his life while he was gone. For all I know, he could be involved with some ho, as nauseating as that may be, it's possible. All he's ever said to me is that he's sorry for how he left. He never said he was back for _me._

The next day Alice is laughing her pants off.

"I can't believe you decked him," she says in between breaths.

"I didn't _deck _him. You make it sound like I kicked his ass." I laugh. "What he said really hurt my feelings."

"You're a great Mom, Bella; and I'll keep telling you like I have been. You need to stop punishing yourself for the past. You're not only hurting yourself. She feels it when you distance yourself from her."

"I know." I sniffle.

She's so right. No matter how many times Alice tells me that I'm a good Mom, I still fail to believe it.

I'm working on it.


	24. Chapter 24

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"And I hope you don't take it the wrong way, but maybe you should work on that before you even consider something with Edward." She smiles apologetically. "You need to make amends with yourself first and make Sophie your number one priority."

I completely agree with her.

"Why do I let him do this to me?" I ask angrily. "He consumes my thoughts and I forget what's really important—my daughter."

"I know you've missed him, Bella." She rolls her eyes. "I mean I don't know why…but whatever. You love him," she says matter-of-factly.

I laugh. Yeah I do. But that's not important anymore.

"Thanks for reminding me." I hug her. "You're always there for us."

"Yeah, you can't get rid of me, bitch!" she laughs and I feel lighter again. "And I can't just have you getting your freak on with your I-left-but-now-I'm-back-again-love-of-your-life. You better make him beg for that pussy, Bella." I raise an eyebrow. This bitch swears I'm a slut. "Okay fine." She holds her hands up. "Make him work for your heart again. Don't just give it to him. He doesn't deserve it yet."

"I fucking love you Ali!" I throw myself at her and we hug for days…or a minute.

Trust Alice to always tell me how it is.

And I wonder; would I really jump in bed with Edward if he asked?

_Yes, yes I would. _Oh Lord.

Thank god I have Alice here to tell me when I'm being a complete whore!

* * *

**It's okay Bella, i'd be a complete whore for Edward too. js BUT I'm not you and he didn't leave me with a kid...:/...so i give you Alice. You're welcome ;)**


	25. Chapter 25

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

**A/N: The top half of this chapter has been added.**

**Bottom half: Time has passed since Edward's first meeting with Sophia.**

**Again, all mistakes are mine :/**

* * *

Edward and I set up a routine for Sophie. Every Sunday, without fail, he takes us out to spend the day together—usually at the park, per Sophie's request. We mostly focus on her and I never get into any deep discussions with him when it's "Sophie time."

I have to attend these outings whether I like it or not because, 1) she gets nervous when she's alone with Edward and 2) she doesn't let anyone else take her to the bathroom, besides me or Alice. I'm okay with that.

I've told Edward not to take it to heart when she cries for me when I leave the room. We've been trying to get her used to him being around, but I don't make her play with him or sit with him if she doesn't want to. I want her to come to him on her own…and by him being there with us, she gets to see the type of person that he is. Most of the time, he has us all laughing and having a good time—Sophie warms up to him and always ends up on his lap, making "fishy lips" with him.

Even Alice likes it when he comes over now. She still has her reservations about him and me getting together, but other than that she gets along with him.

During the week, Edward's able to come by maybe once or twice. Usually it's after we've had dinner and he helps me read Sophie a story and tuck her in. Then he's on his way.

I hate seeing him leave, but it's for the best. I want his and Sophie's relationship to grow before I could ever do anything more with him. Sometimes he'll hint and I'm putty in his hands—forehead kisses last longer than appropriate, hands try to roam…pure want in his eyes. It takes all my strength to tell him, 'behave.'

We're not ready.

Sometimes as we walk at the park with Sophie in between us, I feel like this is it. This is what I've been waiting for—for my family to be complete. Edward catches me looking at him and he gives me a side-grin.

"You're picturing me naked, aren't you?" He whispers and waggles his eyebrows.

My face turns red because _now_ I am!

"Shut up." I punch him in the arm and he laughs.

Two months of our routine has made an impact on the way I feel around him—almost carefree. Almost.

I feel myself wanting to let go, but another huge part of me is scared shitless to even go down that road. Just because he's been here for Sophia, trying to be a Dad, doesn't mean he can give me what I want.

I don't forget that he had a life away from us and that life is still a big mystery to me.

.

.

.

Temper tantrum of a toddler: Whining, screaming, kicking, biting, crying, hitting…with no sign of an end in the immediate future. The noise alone grates on your nerves and you have to restrain yourself from getting physical with the small child that clearly wants your attention. Or does she?

Sophie kicks and screams; tears running down her face. I don't know what's wrong, but whoever does? The more I talk to her the more she screams.

"Okay, Sophia, since you can't tell me what you want with words…" I pick her up, dodging punches but still taking a few in the upper chest. I sit her in a chair. "You're gonna sit here in timeout until you calm down or tell me what you want. I'll wait." I sit across from her and fold my arms, pretty damn proud of myself for not losing my shit the last five minutes.

From what I've read, kids deal with stress, anger, and fear through tantrums. As they grow up, they learn to vocalize what they want, but in the meantime you kind of have to ride them out. _Fuck!_

Three minutes later, the doorbell rings and I look at Sophie. It didn't faze her. She's determined to drive me crazy.

I open the door for Edward wearing a huge fake smile. We're expecting him. So like I said, I don't know what her problem is.

"You're just in time! Sophia's going for the world record for longest tantrum. Come on in!" I wave him in eagerly. He looks scared and I think he almost bolts back to his car.

* * *

****kidshealth dot org for more info on tantrums or Google. Please don't beat yo kids. Just throwing my opinion out there. I'm not opening up a discussion on corporal punishment.****

**Oh man, if i was Edward i'd run! hahaha**

**The other part to this coming up shortly.**


	26. Chapter 26

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

He walks in tentatively and I chuckle behind him.

I go around him and walk into the kitchen where I have Sophia in time-out 'till further notice.

"Sophia, your Daddy's' here…" I try to soothe her again.

Bad idea. She takes one look at him and starts yelling "NO! NO!"

She yells and mumbles words that we don't understand.

Edward and I look at each other, clueless. We're the epitome of parents of the year. Yeah, right. Edward has been witness to a few small tantrums over the past few months, but this is something else.

He walks over to her and kneels down next to her. "Sophie what's wrong, baby?"

"I no wanna...see…you." She glares at him. Hurt flashes through his eyes and he looks up at me for help.

"I …I don't know what's wrong," I say.

He tries again. "Why don't you want to see me? What's wrong?"

"I don't like you," she mumbles at first, and then she screams, "I DON'T LIKE YOUUU!" She tries to hit him with her little fists, but he catches both with one hand. That doesn't go well with her so she thrashes around. It's beyond ridiculous and I feel so bad for Edward.

"That's enough Sophia!" he says. The authority in his voice makes her stop the screaming and thrashing.

She whimpers, "Mo-om…Bellaa-s." She reaches her arms out to me, asking me to hold her.

"You have to say sorry to Daddy, Sophia. You can't be yelling at him like that," I say softly.

"But I don't like him Bella-s," she whines. I lift her up in my arms and she buries her face in my neck.

Edward looks devastated. He stands up slowly and runs his hands through his hair again. The pain that I see in his eyes breaks my heart.

"I can go…" Edward says. I can see that he doesn't want to. I don't want him to.

"No…no, you don't have to. She's just upset still. She's gonna take a nap, so she'll probably be in a better mood later," I try to reassure him.

He nods, trusting me.

* * *

**Have you ever had these words thrown at you by a two year old? sigh. All I wanted to do was give my kid a bath and he "hates me"...and "i'm not his friend." He's lucky i love him :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**None of this is beta'd. I appreciate my volunteer-pre-reader, but I'm a little behind already and I don't want to waste more time waiting to post. And thank you all for still reading and letting me know whether you like it or not. I like honesty...just not nastiness. O.o**

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"_No…no, you don't have to. She's just upset still. She's gonna take a nap, so she'll probably be in a better mood later," I try to reassure him._

_He nods, trusting me._

Sure enough, Sophia fell asleep in my arms. I try moving her to look at her face and her head just lolls to the side.

"What'd I tell you? She always falls asleep after screaming her lungs out."

"Yeah?" He scratches the back of his neck. "She does that a lot?" he asks nervously.

I decide to scare him 'cause he's gullible right now.

"This goes on way into their teen years…that is until the teenage angst kicks in and then we're really screwed," I say nonchalantly.

His face is classic—horror-stricken. I like it.

Eventually, he narrows his eyes at me. "You're fucking with me aren't you?"

I nod and giggle.

"I mean, she has her moments and they will probably follow her as she grows up."

I put my little terror to bed and head back to the kitchen where I left Edward. When I walk in, I catch him sniffing the food on the stove.

"Please don't drool on my food," I tease. He spins around looking sheepish.

"That looks really good." He points behind him.

"Mhmm, it is," I say and don't move from my spot. When he starts to fidget, I stop messing with him. "Fine!" I groan, "I'll feed you, go sit on the table." I point with my chin.

His face lights up and I can't help but laugh. The man has never said no to my food.

"Oh my god…so good!" he moans as his eyes roll to the back of his head. I squeeze my thighs together. He's talking food; I'm thinking sex…with him. _Goddamn sexy. _"Bella…feed me forever, please," he begs. And he's serious too—it makes me giggle.

_What's with all the giggling? Whatever._

"That _was _the plan at one time…" I murmur. I keep my eyes on my plate, and I toss the food around—I'm not so hungry anymore.

He has to know that I wanted a life with him—a family.

"Bella…Please look at me."

When I look up, I want answers. I don't care that he's looking at me with sadness in his eyes. If I'm going to do this with him, I want to know everything about his life away from me.

* * *

**I'm probably going to start making these a little longer...probably. Cutting the chapters is annoying me now.**


	28. Chapter 28

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"_Bella…Please look at me."_

_When I look up, I want answers. I don't care that he's looking at me with sadness in his eyes. _

For three years I've felt that same sadness.

"Why…why did you just leave like that?" I swallow the lump in my throat. I can feel the tears coming.

He sighs. "I'm a coward, Bella. I thought that running away from my problems would make things better but…I never wanted to run away from _you_." He looks into my eyes, begging me to believe him. "Not you, Bella. And I felt like I didn't have a choice so I wanted to make it quick—leave while you were at school."

"So, what? You were just gonna leave a note?" I sob. I don't care that he's seeing me cry. These fucking tears are because of him.

"I didn't know what else to do. I figured you'd get over me—the loser that dropped out of college—and move on with your life."

"And you moved on with yours? How long did it take you to start fucking other women?"

"Come on, Bella…don't be like that—"

"How many women did you fuck?" I ask angrily.

He says he never wanted to leave me, I want to believe it.

"I'm not gonna answer stupid questions!" he seethes. "Ask me anything else and I'll tell you."

"Why not?" I throw my hands up, frustrated.

The fight in him drains out and he looks defeated again. He can't handle when I'm being stubborn. I'll probably regret this later.

"Because I don't want to break your heart more than I already have," he says. "I have so much to make up for…and fuck!" He groans. "I don't want to ruin any chance I might have, Bella," he says with a shaky breath. "I can't lose you again." His eyes well up and he has to look away.

His words are bittersweet. The lack of answers really makes the knife in my chest turn.

"How many?" I demand again. My fucking mouth doesn't agree with my brain about letting it go, and focusing on the second chance that he's talking about.

_I want to talk second chances, dammit._

* * *

**I think that because i'm sometimes a masochist, Bella is too. I ask my husband waaay too many inappropriate questions :/ Like how many girls he fucked...and i want details. I don't know why. Don't look at me like that!**


	29. Chapter 29

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"_How many?" I demand again. My fucking mouth doesn't agree with my brain about letting it go, and focusing on the second chance that he's talking about._

"Six," he answers. My heart drops a little, but I wanted to know.

_Six…You've gotta be fucking kidding me. _But he had every right.

"You wanna know how many men I've been with?" I ask. I want to hurt him too, even though my number is way fucking lower.

"Hell no!" he growls. "I swear to God, Bella…I'll kill a motherfucker!"

I do a little internal happy dance at how angry he gets. Anger is good enough for me.

I roll my eyes. "Says the man with six skanks."

"You wanted to know…fuck." He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Well thanks for telling me…now get your whoring ass out of my house." I point the way.

Have I mentioned how much I love messing with him?

"Not until I've spent time with my daughter," he says evenly.

"Okay so while we wait, I'll ask some more." I grin at him and he groans. To me, the worst is over. I know he was with other women, which he had a right to and now I want to move on. Not think of that _ever_ again.

"Why do you like torturing yourself, Bella?"

"I don't know—I need more fuel to hate you." I joke.

"Please don't hate me." He sighs.

I concede and decide not to torture us any further.

He tells me about the days he slept in his car until he knew for sure that he was getting the job at a body shop down in Texas. Apparently he had already applied a month before he actually left. He hadn't heard anything from them so he decided to take a drive down there with all his belongings and beg for the job. He got it and the only person he wanted to tell was _me. _He says that he left things so bad; he knew I wouldn't want to talk to him.

"You're an idiot, you know that right? I would have supported you and would have done _anything_ to stay with you…even do a long distance relationship."

"Why? I was following a job that was gonna pay me minimum wage…and you…you're a strong, intelligent woman; I had nothing to offer you. Why would you stay, Bella?"

* * *

**Isn't it obvious, Edward?**


	30. Chapter 30

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

I think about his question and there's only one answer that has never changed.

"Because I love you." My eyes well up. "I will always, always love you."

Plain and simple, I love him. I've been angry at him and hurt all this time, I just…I just want to be over it—shake it off and fucking breathe right again; without the pain in my chest.

"Bella…" he croaks.

I shake my head, determined to get what I want. "It doesn't matter anymore. What you did…who you fucked…you're here now." I grab his hands across the table. "None of it fucking matters. There's a little girl in the other room that needs you."

He squeezes my hands and leans down to kiss my knuckles. His lips burn my skin and I want them everywhere.

"What about her Mom…do you think she needs me too?" his eyes plead with mine.

I sniffle, 'cause yeah, I need him.

For so long, I've needed him.

"Yes." I smile through my tears and his face lights up.

"C'mere," he says and tugs on my hands. I pull myself up and he closes the distance between us.

I wrap my arms around him and I'm engulfed in everything _Edward. _His strong arms hold me close and I feel his nose in my hair. I breathe in his scent too. _Oh, how I've missed it. _

I pull away first and he's reluctant to let go.

"You think we're gonna be okay?" he asks, holding me by the waist.

"I think eventually we'll be okay." I hold one of his hands and we entwine our fingers. "I have to learn to trust you again and I need to know that you're going to stay with us no matter what happens. You can't just get up and leave—there's too much at stake this time." I look into his eyes and try to make him understand that if he ever leaves…it will be too much for me.

"I'll never do that to you again…or to Sophie. She's the best thing in my life besides _you_. I love you both too fucking much." He kisses my forhead. Once. Twice.

"Then show us."

I wrap my arms around him and I let go…all the hurt and anger. I sob into his chest, closing my arms tightly around him. And just hope…hope that he doesn't break us again.

* * *

**Don't let us down, Edward. We're all counting on you!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	31. Chapter 31

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"What is going on here?" A voice break the silence behind us.

Edward and I, both let go from our embrace and turn around to see Alice standing by the door. Her eyebrow is raised and looking straight at me.

"Hey, Ali." I move away from Edward. I feel like I just got caught by my parents making out with my boyfriend. "Edward and I were just—"

"I can see you were_ just…" _She interrupts. She walks past us and says, "If this leads to you shacking up again, please make sure you don't leave me with another kid to take care of."

I gasp. "What?" She might as well slap me across the face. It's exactly how that feels. "How could you say that?"

She turns to me with a sneer. "I told you to watch yourself with him, Bella. And I walk in and you're practically all over each other."

"Alice, it wasn't even like that." Edward cuts in. I was so focused on Alice that I forgot he was even next to me.

"Then what was it?" she turns to me.

"We were talking. I told him what I want. I told him he practically has to beg on his knees to get me to really trust him again. I kind of lost it with all the emotions and I started crying. We were just hugging when you came in."

She turns to him with a pointed finger. "You've done enough damage around here. You better be for real, she's putting up a strong front right now, but I know she's scared shitless. Don't fucking ruin her." She warns.

"I'm willing to do anything it takes. I've already promised her." He says with a determined look. "I've been here for Sophia as much as I know how to…and now I just was us back. Me and Bella…and our daughter."

It makes me feel so much better. We want the same things.

And I know Alice is just looking out for me. She knows me too well and she knows that it took a lot for me to even entertain the idea of letting him in. She knows how much I've struggled these past two months with him visiting Sophia.

I've wanted to talk to him about how he left and to fill in all the blanks for me—all the _why's._

We're interrupted by Sophie's yelling. She's not crying, just calling for me to get her. I let Edward go and he goes into the room to get her.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Bella." Alice says when he walks out of the room.

"I do, Alice. Don't worry. It's not like we're moving in together. I haven't even kissed him." I whisper at her. She rolls her eyes. "I'm serious, I want to take it slow, but I want us moving in the right direction too. There's nothing about him that tells me I shouldn't believe him."

"Did you honestly forgive him?"

"I didn't say those exact words. With time, I will."


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys, sorry i'm late. I've been super busy...mix that with BS that i'm dealing with...anyway, here it goes.**

****I went back and added something to Ch25 to show that i moved the story along by two months or so. (I don't know why i thought it was clear.) ****Edward has been seeing Bella and Sophie every Sunday for some bonding time with his daughter. He shows up for Sophie's bedtime routine (bath time, story and goodnight kisses) a few times a week...when he can. He doesn't have to but he does and Bella acknowledges that. During that time the focus has been on Sophie and not on Edward or Bella's non-_relationship._**

**I want to get that moving before I make myself crazy!**

**SM OWNS IT ALL.**

* * *

"She still hates me," Edward says when he walks back into the room without Sophie.

"What?" I laugh at his distressed face. "Edward, she's just a baby, she doesn't really hate you."

I bring Sophia out to the living room. Edward is sitting on the couch, his head hanging between his knees, his hair a mess. Sophie tightens her hold on me and buries her face in my neck.

I know it's rough on Edward when he sees Sophie act this way with him. I've told him that it's going to take some time and that even I get the same treatment he's getting right now. She's told me she doesn't like me when I make her do something she doesn't want to. He just wasn't prepared for it today and I know deep down that this is hurting him.

"Come on, Sophie, your Daddy's gonna take you to the water park today." I try to pry her little arms from my neck. A scream comes out from the back of her throat and she whines.

"I don't like Eh-word, Bella-s." Edward's head snaps up, hurt and then angry. The fire in his eyes makes me nervous.

I can see the argument now—it's _my_ fault she called him by his name because she calls me by my name.

"Remember you have to call him Daddy, okay? It's not nice to call him Edward; he doesn't like it." I smooth down her hair; it's a wild mess of curls right now. "Why are you mad at him, baby?"

"He lefted for a long time…and I-I didn't get goodnights." She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, full of tears. My poor baby.

I looked at Edward and immediately he felt guilty. A long time for Sophie is three days…and three days that Edward didn't come to tuck her in at night. I didn't even think it bothered her since she never mentioned it or asked for Edward.

"Sophie…" Edward cooed and leaned closer to her. "Baby, I was working...I'm sorry. But I'm here now."

"You didn't kissy my lip-ies goodnight, Eh-word," she admonished with a pout.

I know it's horrible, but I think she sounds so cute when she says, Eh-word. Of course, I'm not dumb enough to say this out loud. The man will skin me alive.

"My name's not Edward, Sophia. Try again," He says with a stern look.

"Are you mad at me, Daddy?" she asks. Edward's face softens and I know she's forgiven. She's that good.

"No, baby, I love you. Come here," he says and pulls her onto his lap. He pecks her lips, making up for the nights he didn't get to do it.

And I don't believe it—it's like none of this ever happened. Sophia's grinning at him and holding on to his neck for dear life. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at my daughter, the chatterbox now. Seriously, I do not understand children, especially her. She wasted half the damn day throwing a tantrum cause she was mad at Edward…and now, she's best friends with him again.

She definitely seems like she's warmed up to him…or maybe she just really missed her Daddy.

Either way, I wouldn't change this moment for the world. The happiness in their faces is priceless.

* * *

**I'm just thankful the tantrum gave Bella the opportunity to ask Edward what she wanted to know. She's so ready to move on, I'm proud of her. And my poor little Sophie...she missed her _Eh-word. _**

**Thanks for reading.**

**More soon...i'm working on it!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Mistakes are mine still.**

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT...I own dirty thoughts starring Robsten. what? It's totally normal.**

* * *

A long month has passed of planning and more planning for Sophie's third birthday. This is usually Alice's field but I really wanted to do this to get my mind off Edward. I don't know why I make everything revolve around him; I'm hopeless…and pissed. I tried a new tactic—immerse myself in Sophie, work, and planning the event of the year.

"You're grumbling again," Alice says.

"I know," I sigh.

For some stupid reason I thought that after our talk, Edward would want to open up to me some more and maybe work on _us_. Well, that hasn't happened. In fact, he's more distant and it's driving me insane. I don't understand what happened and I'm too chicken shit to ask him. I mean, what if I just assumed it was all good and we could be together…but he still has other issues. Or he doesn't want to be with me.

_Crap._ That might be it.

I'm also grumbling because something happened today...and I don't know what to do.

"Cullen's an asshole," I growl. Alice arches her brow at me.

"Cullen? You're mad at him?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he's an idiot!" I throw my hands up, frustrated.

"Are you surprised?" she laughs. "He's a guy, Bella." I hate it when she's right.

"I thought…I thought we were moving in the right direction, you know?"

She nods and smiles sympathetically. "I think you have to really spell it out for him. Tell him that you want to work on your relationship. Don't expect him to read your mind, he's not that smart," she teases.

I mull this over for a bit. Of course she's right, but if he wanted the same thing wouldn't he already know what I want and try for it?

I told him I loved him—stupid idea, now. _What is he thinking? Seriously. _

"Someone asked me out on a date," I blurt out. This is why I'm pissed. This guy is…so nice and hot. And he wants to take me out. And I'm strung up on Edward. And if Edward doesn't want me, and I lose my chance with this guy…I will be chopping off some balls. No matter how pretty they are, dammit!

"Who? That new hot teacher you were telling me about?" I bite my lip and nod.

"That's the one. His name is David."

"I say you go for it. Edward can suck it! And then maybe he'll realize what a moron he's being." she says triumphantly.

"Alice…" I sigh "I don't want to use David like that. He's an awesome person; I wouldn't do that to him."

"Edward hasn't stepped up to the plate. I think he's running scared again," she says more seriously.

That's what I'm afraid of and I don't know what to do.

* * *

**Hot teacher asking Bella out when Edward's being...weird. what to do? what to do?**


	34. Chapter 34

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

* * *

Two weeks later, I put my big girl panties on and accept a date with Mr. Evans. It's not the first date I've been on since Edward left, far from it actually. The only difference now is that I see Edward pretty regularly. I'm just more determined to not let his presence…run my life.

I was so damn hurt and borderline destructive with myself when he wasn't here…and now I see it was all for nothing. I expected a little more from him or maybe I expected too much of him too fast. Whatever it is I think I need to think of myself now.

I have my answers, I know why he left. It wasn't because I'm a horrible person to be with…or that I couldn't keep him interested in me physically. No, it was all him and his issues. Now, it's still him and his issues.

I actually feel relieved when I say yes to David. I'm not carrying that burden of not being good enough for Edward.

I _am_ good enough. I'm a good mother. I'm a damn good teacher. And I can be with a man and make him happy, if he makes me happy.

"You've made me the luckiest guy, Bella," David says with his perfect smile and sparkling blue eyes. "And I know that was completely cheesy, but you love it cause you're blushing." he laughs. I like how his eyes crinkle at the corners.

"Did you really think I'd turn you down?"

"Um…actually, yeah. You turned me down two times already."

He's right. But it's all about timing. The minute he introduced himself, he asked me out…cocky bastard. He was so sure I would say yes. I have to give it to him though, it was in the tip of my tongue to say yes. There were other things that my tongue wanted to do to him but that would come later.

"You asked me out in front of the whole student body. Everyone was hollering 'yeah, _hit that shit_, Mr. Evans!'" he barks out a laugh and I can't help but giggle. I slap his arm and he catches my hand, keeping it with him on his lap. I'm thankful we're alone in the break room.

That little stunt he pulled got us in trouble with the principal. Nothing too serious but we both left his office giggling like teenagers. And also we're not allowed to watch the students during an auditorium meeting anymore.

David is the coolest teacher in this school…or so I've heard from every student that walks into my class. The guys think he's a player and the girls drool over him. He has a fun personality that gets his student's attention, I've seen him at work…and let's just say it's the best foreplay I've had in a long time.

So yeah, I think he's pretty cool too.

* * *

**Who do I imagine as our hot teacher, David Evans? Well Chris Evans of course! Oh damn, I want to wreck that man so bad! Bella's so lucky!**


	35. Chapter 35

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

**Here's a little bit of Edward. He kept yapping in my ear and i know some of you wanted to hear from him. But this is all he had to say...**

**Mistakes and inconsistencies are all my fault! sorry.**

* * *

I'm a real piece of work. I don't know how I keep getting myself in the stupidest, most fucking idiotic situations. All I _ever_ wanted was my Bella.

And there I go fucking leaving her…and pregnant no less! For reasons that are just so juvenile and…pathetic. Yes, I found what I wanted, but no, I was never happy all that time without her.

Did I find pussy to take my mind off the real world and the girl I left behind? Yes. But they didn't t mean shit to me! I swear on everything that I love including my baby girl Sophia that they didn't mean anything to me.

I didn't expect to come back at all…but fate had other ideas. I didn't know if Bella had moved on, but I was willing to make the move and maybe just be friends with her. She's the most honest and caring person I have ever known and I wanted that back in my life. I never denied being a selfish prick. I really wish she would have pounded my ass to the ground for being an asshole to her.

And fuck…she gave me the most beautiful little person in my fucked up world. _Sophia_.

I don't deserve her, I don't deserve her love, but here I am. She loves me even though she says she hates me. Bella had to make my stupid ass understand that she doesn't really mean it.

Because the knife isn't done twisting in my chest, Bella says she still wants me. Fuck, I want her too. But I see how much I fucked her up. She's almost desperate to leave it all behind her. She wants to move on and she wants me still.

I know she hasn't forgiven me. I can see the hurt in her eyes and she's desperately trying to find the answers in me. I don't have the answers.

I want to make it right, though. I want to take that pain away.

I can't help but being close to her and wanting to just touch her soft skin. Sometimes she lets me…other times she just gives me a warning look.

Focus on Sophia. That's what we're supposed to do—or were doing, until that day in her kitchen when she demanded answers.

I saw the real Bella coming through—stubborn and hot. She gets what she wants and that day she wanted answers and she wanted _me_.

How could I deny her?

I finally saw the bright light at the end of the tunnel. I was getting my family back. My Bella. She wanted us to work and I was more than willing to try. Fuck yes, I was.

Remember I'm the motherfucking king of bad decisions? Or bad luck. Whatever.

Two days…fuck! Two days after I promise to be with her, promise to be truthful, promise to stay and never run from her again…I get a call.

Lauren. The chick I met at the body shop when she brought her car in.

We fucked a few times…she got clingy so I let her go. She's the last girl I was with before I made my decision to move back.

She says she's pregnant. I don't believe her but I have to make sure.

I'm so ashamed that I stay away from Bella. I know this is going to break her heart but I won't say anything until I know for sure. I know it probably looks like I'm backing out and I don't want to be with her—it's far from the truth.

I fucking love this girl so hard. I'm trying to figure out how not to ruin my chances again. It's either, I tell her about what's going on and she leaves my ass or I distance myself for a bit, keeping her with me, until I figure something out. Obviously I took the selfish road.

I can't take any time off for a while so I'm just waiting it out until I get a chance to go back to Texas and straighten my shit out.

Bella doesn't deserve all of my bullshit, but I'm too fucking selfish to let her go.

* * *

**Like if we didn't hate him enough! it is what it is.**


	36. Chapter 36

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

**I wish I owned Rob's fine, fiiiine ass. Damn you Kristen!**

* * *

David's a great date. He's a complete gentleman.

But he's definitely not stiff. He's incredibly funny and if anyone witnessed our date tonight they'd say we had some serious chemistry.

That'd be a lie, though. I feel nothing for him, other than he's crazy fun to be around.

I think he felt it too and we just made the best of the evening.

On the car ride home we fight over which radio stations to play. If dinner wasn't any indication that I wasn't going to go out with him again, then his choice in music is.

"Are you seriously trying to get me to listen to Jay-Z and Kanye?" I ask incredulously.

"Pshh this is the shiz, Bella. You don't know what you're talkin 'bout!" I practically choke on my own saliva.

I hope he's kidding. _Shiz?_

Oh god, but he's too beautiful to like that crap!

"You're kidding, right? As your friend, I have to tell you to stop it…and please don't talk like that," I giggle when he looks at me in mock hurt.

We drive up to my house and he turns off the car.

"Well, since I've disgusted you with my music." He grins. "The least I could do is finish this off like a proper date. Let me walk you to your door m'lady." He gets off the car and turns right back around. "Oh and stay there, let me open the door for you. Jay-z taught me how to treat a woman." He winks. Cheeky bastard.

He holds his hand out for me and I take it as I get out of the car. We walk up the path to the house hand-in-hand. We stand in front of my door like those awkward first dates, except it's not awkward and we're both trying not to laugh at our whole evening. It was fun and I know he's trying to make this as painful as possible for me. I will be getting him back for this.

He clears his throat, "So, Bella…um I had a great time tonight," he goes on with his game and we swing our clasped hands back and forth between us.

"Yeah. Me too. It was nice," I say, pretending to be shy. I stifle a laugh. Thank god this isn't real or I'd be wishing for someone to shoot me.

"Is it okay of I kiss you?" he murmurs softly. I can see the glint in his eyes. He's kidding but it still makes me blush.

_Maybe just once? _

I nod.

He leans in slowly and I'm gonna have a panic attack because this isn't supposed to happen. We were pretending!

Fuck it. I place my hand on his shoulder, ready to tilt my head toward his mouth. Mmm that mouth…slightly parted. Damn.

"Don't fucking kiss her!" A growl erupts from the sidewalk.

We pull away and Edward is stalking toward us, pissed.

* * *

**Oh snap!**


	37. Chapter 37

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

**I asked my husband if he could buy Kristen for me...he said that wasn't a normal thing to say/or ask for... :(**

** So I also don't own her, Roberto does.**

**Mistakes are still mine. :/**

* * *

Of all days for this man to give a dam about me, he chooses today. And more specifically tonight.

I'm pretty pissed that he ruined an almost fake kiss. I was really looking forward to it.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I shake my head at him incredulously. He ignores me, still throwing daggers at my "date" as he stands right in front of us.

"You know this guy, Bella?" David pulls me back, protectively. _Swoon._

"Of course, she knows me you prick! She's my daughter's mother," Edward sneers.

Fuck, he's pissing me off! Where does he get off being all possessive?

"Hey!" I get in front of Edward, one hand on my hip the other pointing an angry finger at him. "What is your problem you _asshole_?" I hiss.

"My problem is that you're making out with some…fucktard!" he glares at David.

_Oh for the love…_

I turn my back to Edward and face David.

"Dave, I'm so sorry about all this," I tell him. I'm completely humiliated. "I'll see you Monday, okay?"

"Are you sure Bella?" David eyes Edward warily. And I really don't want a pissing contest on my door step. This needs to be over.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I wave my hand dismissively. "I can handle him."

David walks away, casting concerned glances at me. I assure him with a nod that it's cool for him to go. I will not get murdered or anything.

"Are you done staring at your boyfriend?" Edward grinds out.

"For fuck's sake Edward!" I storm into the house and I hear him follow me in.

I reach the living room and I throw myself on the couch, rubbing my eyes with my palms.

I don't understand him. I'm so pissed and I'm hurt—I just want to cry in frustration. I feel my eyes burning but I fight the damn tears.

"Who is this guy?" Edward asks.

"What are you doing here Edward?" I glare at him, avoiding his question. It pisses him off.

"So are you fucking him or something? I thought you wanted me back?" he asks angrily.

"Fuck you, Edward. You're the one that doesn't give a shit about us. I told you what I wanted and you backed away from me. Did you expect me to just sit and wait for you again? What a fucking joke!" I laugh.

He growls and pulls on his hair. "What did you want me to do, Bella? You said you wanted slow, I think that means you don't want to fuck yet."

"This isn't about that. Don't make it about that!" I say. "You made it seem like you didn't even want to be in the same room with me, what did you expect me to think? If you don't want me, just tell me. I can't be playing these games."

Cause god knows I'm tired of this. He's either in or he's out. I can't live my life waiting on him to make a decision. The decision needs to be made and I want to move on with my life. I want to give my daughter a stable home and I want to know if he's staying here for her too.

He sighs, frustrated and angry…and _everything_. "Look, I have some things I'm dealing with. It's pretty heavy and I haven't been in my right mind. Fuck, I haven't even taken you out on a proper date 'cause this shit is messing with my head!"

"Stuff like what?"

What could possibly be going on that he couldn't tell me before?

"I didn't want to upset you, baby," he says, reaching for my hands. He squeezes my hands and rubs them with his thumbs. "I don't always make the best decisions, but I thought it was for the best to wait to tell you," he sighs and then takes a deep breath. Fuck, he's killing me here. "There's this girl that I was seeing back in Texas…she's claiming….she's claiming that she's pregnant." He hangs his head and I let his words sink in.

He got another girl pregnant?

What is it with him getting girls pregnant and then leaving the state? This is fucked!

"It's probably not even true…but I can't just walk away from it...what if she is? I need to find out for sure. That's why I came today."

I hear him talking, but I don't know what to say. This happened before he came here…before he met Sophia…before he made those promises to me.

"So why are you here?" my voice shakes. _Please don't cry, please don't cry! _I chant_._

"I'm driving to Texas tonight. I'll be back on Tuesday the latest. I wanted to see you and Sophia before I left." He scowls. "But then I find you here with some douche trying to kiss you. What the hell was that?" For a grown man, he has the cutest pout.

"He's a friend, Edward…well, he is now. We kinda went on a date and it's not gonna work out."

"Of course it's not gonna work out, you're taken." _Possesiveward, much?_ I roll my eyes.

"Well, _I_ didn't know that." I look at him pointedly. "You had me thinking otherwise." I cross my arms.

"Well you know now." He pulls me forward, toward him and he cups my cheek. "I told you I wanted you, Bella. I still do. I'm sorry I didn't come to you before…but I'm making this right. Whatever happens, you're still the one I want, okay?" he dips down to look me in the eyes before he lightly presses his lips against mine.

I pull away, I'm still wary about what's going on—I need his reassurance.

"What if she is? What then, Edward?"

He sighs and shakes his head. "I'll try to work something out with her. But it's not gonna change anything between me and you. At least I hope not. It's up to you, Bella…and I know it sucks that I put you in this position."

"You should sneak into Sophie's room and say goodbye," I tell him.

"Are you angry at me?" he asks hesitantly. I shake my head and pull him toward me, burying my face in his neck. He pulls me closer, tightening his hold on me_. _

_I missed this smell._

"I'm not angry," I mumble. "I'm just really disappointed and hurt that you were so reckless…that doesn't change the fact that I love you, though." I pull away so I that I can look into his eyes. "And it doesn't mean that you can drag me along while you make mistake after mistake. That is your past and I have to accept it." I narrow my eyes at him. "So don't make me regret it, or my daughter will be fatherless…I'll make sure of it."

"I love it when you threaten my life." He grins and I swat his arm. _Ooh…his arms are so strong._ He holds his hands out in front of him. "Okay, okay. I was kidding." He nuzzles my nose. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know."

I close my eyes as he leans in for a kiss. He presses his lips softly against mine.

Nothing has felt sweeter. His warm breath tickles my nose, and I savor his manly smell. _All Edward. So good._

So good.

* * *

**I am in my happy place with my girl Kristen. She's in her SWATH gear ready to take the daggers for me. I fluv her.**

**Bring it :D**


	38. Chapter 38

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

**I own a 2yo that drives me mad! And he gave me strict orders to get off the computer :/**

**I hope this isn't too awful, I had to sneak in to write while he was distracted. Mistakes are mine.**

* * *

He leaves that Saturday night, promising to return by Tuesday.

Sophie pouts a little when I tell her that our Sunday with Daddy isn't gonna happen, but I still promise to take her to the park and to the nail salon for a pedi. She freaking loves that, thanks to Alice.

Alice is upset and I understand where she's coming from. Edward is not "man of the year" right now, but ultimately it's my decision what I do or don't do with him. No one has lived my life or felt what I've felt; I think I deserve my happiness. And if I'm looking for happiness with Edward, then I'm gonna go for it.

She doesn't have to like it, but it is my life. And I believe in his words. He didn't back away because he didn't want me. What he had to say was huge and I wish that he would have told me after he knew for sure, because right now I'm going crazy wanting to know.

I think of the girl and I wonder how her life has changed if she is pregnant. I've been in the same situation, and I can't help but to feel sorry for her. Edward lives here now and he's with me and our daughter. What about the baby that's going to grow up away from their father.

I'm just sad about the whole thing. I trust Edward to do the right thing and step up to the plate—take care of his responsibilities.

"Bella-s is my Eh-words gonna come today?" Oh geez. I rub my face in frustration.

"Sophie, please Mommy, his name is Daddy, okay? We talked about this."

"Is my Daddys gonna see me today?" She looks up at me with her big brown eyes. God, Edward is so pissed that she keeps calling him that and I'm really gullible.

"Not until tomorrow, baby. Tomorrow is Tuesday," I tell her.

I get a really sweet surprise during my third class of the day. A delivery man walks into my classroom asking for a Miss Swan. I tell him it's me but I look at him oddly. He's only carrying a clipboard with him. When I sign, he tells me to give him a moment while he goes back outside.

A moment later he walks in with the coolest arrangement I've ever seen. The whole class ooh's and aah's at the tall strawberry tree arrangement. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. Every strawberry is delicately dipped in chocolate. And it's a tree! _So cute._

"Enjoy Ma'am ." the delivery man tips his hat and leaves.

I happily share it with my class and tuck in the little envelope that came with it in my purse for later.

"Oh my god! These strawberries are awesome," Alice says when we're home that evening. I smirk at her and let her enjoy that first bite.

"Mhmm they are aren't they?"

"Mhmm…sinfully delicious," she says with her mouth full.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to thank Edward for you."

"What?" she starts gagging and I roll my eyes. "That jerk gave you these? Ugh and I really like them!" She pouts.

"Well, don't worry; I was only sharing _one_ with you. The ones I have left are for baby girl." I stick my tongue out at her.

"Where is my baby, anyway?" Alice looks around for the little monster.

"She's taking a nap. We had a twenty minute tantrum session today. Happy times." I smile.

"Poor baby," she says.

"Eh, I'll be alright. Don't worry."

"Shut up, dork!" she throws her napkin at me. " I'm not talking about _you_." She sobers up and then asks, "So what's the occasion?" She eyes the bag of strawberries.

I pull out the note that came with the arrangement and let her read it.

_Bella,_

_There will be no more "sorry's" from me because I've done something stupid or made mistakes this huge. I want to make you and Sophie proud of the man that I am; and the man that I will continually strive to be. You and my baby girl are everything to me…and I want to be everything for you too. This is my promise to you._

_So here's a little something to sweeten up your day while I'm gone. _

_-Edward_

_P.S. I'm really trying here, Bella. Please don't give up on me. Whatever happens. _

"That's…that's pretty promising, Bella. I really hope he comes through for you. And if not, then at least for Sophia," she says. _Me too._

I have to trust that his words speak truth. I know he is human and he will make mistakes and have to apologize, but nothing like the life altering decisions that he's made in the past. That is what he is promising to me and Sophia—he will be here for us in every way that we need him.

And I will fight to keep someone that wants to be that for us. I won't give up until I have nothing else to fight for.

This, I promise _myself._

* * *

**You go girl!**

**Yes, I've had a chocolate-covered strawberry tree delivered to my work. Sweetest surprise ever. Someone got lucky that night. ;)**


	39. Chapter 39

**Not Beta'd mistakes are mine. **

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT I own a Robsten-lovin' heart and I'm trying to mend it :(**

* * *

"She's not pregnant and I made her take a test right in front of me," Edward says through the phone.

I'm relieved beyond belief for...everyone involved.

"Oh mygod. So she was lying? Who does that?" I ask angrily. I'm pacing the kitchen still in my pj's. He called so freaking early but I don't care. He's coming home and he's not having a baby with another woman.

He groans. "I kind of had a feeling, but I had to make sure, Bella." I completely understand and I tell him this. He promises to see me later tonight; he's driving back home as we speak.

I miss him.

I wake Alice up and tell her everything. She's not amused so I leave her alone. I make breakfast for everyone. We have a great morning since I'm in such a good mood. _Heart shaped pancakes for everyone!_

Even my morning classes notice. _No homework for everyone!_

That night when I hear Edward's car in the driveway, I throw the door open and run out to him. I barely give him a chance to get out of the car before I attack him. "Oh my god! I missed you. Never leave me again! And you're late." I growl into his lips.

He chuckles but grabs onto my hips and joins me by kissing me back just as fiercely. He tastes amazing.

Lips, teeth, tongue. I take it all. Mine.

He pulls away and I whine a bit. He chuckles. "Hi." he smiles with his eyes. He's surprised at my...um...warm welcome.

I bite my lip. "Hi." Oh yeah, now we're shy. I grab his hand. "Come on. Let's get inside, she wants to see her Daddy." The smile that spreads across his face is...gah! He loves her so much.

"She's still awake?"

I roll my eyes. 'Cause yeah, we've been waiting since he left.

"DADDY!" The high pitch squeal erupts from the living room the minute she sees him. Of course I didn't tell her he was here; I needed my moment with him. _And what a moment it was!_

I bite my lip and watch as my baby throws herself at her Daddy. Best scene playing out in front of me.

"How's my baby girl?" He kisses her cheeks and swings her around. She giggles. Her eyes scrunching up like his.

"You're here?" she asks.

He puts her on her feet again. She's got her footie pj's on; ready to be tucked in by him. "Yes, I'm here." He leans down and kisses the top of her head. "How about we go read a bedtime story? It's really late, and Mommy has to work tomorrow."

I let them do their thing alone this time. They both deserve it.

When he comes back out five minutes later, I immediately think something is wrong.

"She's was out the second I laid her down. I didn't even get to read her the story. I just sat there and watched her sleep for a bit." I pout my lip and walk over to this fukcing awesome man. I throw my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest.

"We both missed you." I put my chin on his chest and look up at him. "I'm glad your back...with no baggage," I tease. He laughs and dips down for a kiss.

I'm really liking this.

The kissing.

"You're the only baggage I want." He kisses my nose.

"You're so romantic!" I fake swoon.

We kiss some more in the middle of my living room. He envelopes me in his arms,and I just want to stay here forever; in the safety of his arms.

I won't even deny it. I've given myself to him completely with no regrets.

He pulls away from my mouth taking my bottom lip with him, before he releases it. I suck it into my mouth; tasting him and feeling his teeth marks on it. So hot.

I want his teeth marks _everywhere_.

He cups my face with both hands, his thumbs rubbing small circles on my cheeks. His eyes on me are loving and passionate. He traps me and I can't look away. I don't want to.

"I love you, Bella." Deep and longing eyes stare back at me. "So much, baby."

"I love you too."

This is my happiness. And nothing hurts.

* * *

**I'm really sorry for the delay. I still don't have my computer. I lucked out with posting this today. **

**Thank you for reading.**

**-MEL**


	40. Chapter 40

**With this I close this story. Thank you for reading.**

**As always...All mistakes are mine.**

**SM OWNS IT.**

* * *

"We're not ready for that."

"I think we are." He challenges again.

He's so frustrating sometimes.

"I think we're not. End of discussion."

He laughs. "You're not ending this conversation. Not this time." He pulls me close to him and nuzzles his face in my neck. "Give me a good reason."

"First of all, this is hardly the time to have a serious conversation."

"What's wrong with now?" He looks at our naked bodies all tangled up in his bed sheets. "I say it's perfect." He grips my waist and pushes his hardness against my thigh. He's probably already forgotten all about the important conversation he was trying to have with me while he did delicious things to my body.

I'm way smarter than that, though. He won't be distracting me today.

"Fine. Let's do this!" I jump out of the bed and collect my clothes from the floor. "Get dressed; we're going to the living room."

"What? Why? We were about to go for round three," he whines.

"No. We're going to have this conversation you want to have. And we're doing it in the living room!" I yell as I walk out of the room.

"But I'm not gonna wear a shirt!" he yells back and I roll my eyes.

"That's fine with me!"

xoxo

"We're not moving in together."

He groans and plops himself down on the couch next to me.

"Bella…what's the big deal? We're together all the time, whether it's here or your place. I've proven to you that I'm not going anywhere; not without you guys. Not ever…you're my family."

It's true that he's been trying his best to reassure Sophia and me that he won't walk out on us, but that little part of my brain that remembers what he did to me won't let me take that step.

I want us to live together as a family, but not until I'm sure and get rid of the fears that I have.

Up until now, we've done a lot things as a family and also as a couple when it comes to just Edward and I. We cleaned the slate many months ago, seven to be exact, when he came back from Texas _without _baggage. Not only did he have to work on being a dad through the good and bad, he also had to work on being a man that deserved my love; a man that would one day become the man of our family.

Edward quickly showed us that we were his first priority. He made himself present and available for any of life's obstacles and milestones, that up until then I was doing alone with Sophie. Now I had someone to hold my hand and feel the exact same pride when our daughter excelled in something…or when she was really bad at daycare and got kicked out for the second time. He was there to hold my hand while I cried and worried about finding a new day care and letting me know that he was there to share the responsibility.

We were in this together and I couldn't love him more in those moments.

He was our rock.

But would I be making a huge mistake if we merged our lives together at this point in our lives? Was he ready for it? Was I?

"Do you love me?" He asks.

"Yes. Of course I do but-"

He holds his hand up to stop me. "Guess what? I love you too. More than life. Not more than our daughter because she's everything to me. But…Bella, you needed me to show you that I wasn't going to leave and that I was ready to take care of my family. I've done that…and I will keep doing that long after we've moved in together. Both of you are my responsibility and I will always do my best to take care of all of your needs and ours as a whole."

xoxo

It didn't take a lot more convincing after that. What more could I want? The man professed his love for me and our family…and he was shirtless.

Goddamn! I love him without a shirt.

Our clothes ended up on the floor once again, sealing the deal. I gave myself to him and he promised to be very careful with the lives that he would now hold in his hands.

xoxo

Three months later, it was official; we were now a Swan/Cullen home.

Combining our incomes, we were able to afford a three bedroom apartment. Nothing fancy, but just right for us. Sophie loves her new room since she got to pick out the paint color and brand new bed set thanks to Daddy. She's got him so wrapped around her finger it's comical watching him with her.

The extra bedroom is a great office for Edward and me but apparently Edward has other ideas.

"And look baby, we can make this office a nursery soon," he says as he comes up behind me and wraps me in his arms. I snort.

"Edward, I'm not having another baby unless we get married. And I'd really like to enjoy this space before I have to deal with another child, so don't try to propose! I can already see you getting down on one knee right now." I laugh and when I look up at him he looks hurt.

"You wouldn't want to be my wife?"

"Well of course I would! I just meant that I didn't want you to propose for the sole purpose of making this a baby room."

"Okay so that's your only objection to me proposing?" The glint in his eyes scared me a little.

"Edward? What? You're being weird."

"Come with me." He laces our fingers together and walks down the hall to our room.

I really didn't want to be side tracked with sex because I've been working really hard all morning getting the rooms all put together so that we could finally have our first night in our new home.

"Edward, I really don't have time to—" My mouth drops open as he opens the door to our room with a sweep of his hand.

I walk in and take in the scene in front of me. I know I didn't do it so I turn around and look at him. He has his sexy smirk on while he leans on the door frame.

"You did this?"

"Yep." He nods and smiles bashfully.

"What's the occasion?" I ask as I run my hand over the bedspread covered in fresh pink rose petals. The scented candles all over the room give it such a beautiful serene look, I want to cry. He did all this for me. There's a tray with champagne glasses and a bottle chilling in a bowl full of ice. I'm so caught up in the moment and taking everything in that I don't hear him behind me until he calls me.

"Bella…"

I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands.

Edward is down on one knee holding out a tiny box. He's nervous, yet so perfect.

He smiles and takes a deep breath. "Today we finally bring our family together under one roof. There is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life making a home with. Will you marry me?"

I sob out a heartfelt YES! And leap into his arms.

"I love you, Bella." he squeezes me and somehow manages to fit the beautiful ring in my left finger while I'm wrapped all over him.

"Did you just ask me to marry you?" I giggle into his neck. I can't believe it.

He chuckles. "Yes, I did. And you accepted; it's probably written in stone somewhere so you're stuck with me, future-Mrs. Cullen." He grins and leans down to kiss me.

"I like the sound of that, and I really don't mind being stuck with you. You're pretty." I nibble on his neck while he laughs.

I love him.

I love him.

This is one moment I'm glad that we've had the opportunity to share.

I make love to Edward for the first time as my fiancé in our new bed among the pink roses. I'm in heaven.

"Thank you for wanting to be here with me to create all the future moments in our lives. I love you, Edward." I kiss his lips and rest my head on his chest.

"Is that a yes to a baby too?" His smile is so wide, I can't deny him.

"It's a yes…in a year. But definitely a yes."

* * *

**she's in a happy place...i'm in a happy place. Much love to you all. **


End file.
